Hey, strangers!

[theantijoss]

I am not expecting too much. I am not expecting too much.

Which is a good thing, because the teaser was... really, really dumb, and I'm already sick of the lead guy's whining. *rolls eyes*

Their guardian aunt is like 12. It is totally Dawson's Creek with vampires, complete with wangsty soundtrack!

The best friend REALLY reminds me of somebody, but I can't put my finger quite on who.

Nice subtle raven there.

And oh, hey, the jock ex boyfriend used to be on my soap!

I wish we could see more vampire and less boring teenager. Let me be more specific -- let's see more Ian Somerholder and less everything else. Thanks!

Oh, great, she's a buzzkill. I'm so bored. VAMPIRES, PLEASE.

I'm going to have to all jock ex "Casey" because that was his character on As the World Turns.

HAWT-E? Really? For a second I thought it said "WALL-E". Which would totally be more interesting.

WHERE. IS. IAN. SOMERHOLDER? They're going to make us sit through the whole miserable episode before we really get to see him, huh?

OMG IT'S ONLY TEN MINUTES IN? I'm not going to last. Or else I'm going to have to stop drinking.

I keep expecting The Crow to show up and take revenge on our wangsty teen orphan heroine.

Oh, come ON. You have to hide him behind fog? And what's with the fog, anyway? STUPID.

Okay, I know it's only the first episode, and I should give it some time, but I think Bones has already won.

"Nice ring." "I'm a Transylvanian Superbowl champ." OMG SHE'S BLEEDING! Well, the vampire effect is pretty cool. I like the nasty blood eyes.

Meanwhile, back at Wayne manor, our hero is JOURNALING. OMFG.

Oh 12 year old auntie, you so funny.

Hi creepy stalker journaling freak. Isn't that cute? They have journaling in common! Ooh, I like his boots.

Oh! The best friend reminds me of Aisha Tyler.

So... does the fake dad/nephew not know about Evil Brother? He who hides in the fog? With the random raven?

On a side note, I'm sort of looking forward to catching the new Fame movie.

Yay Gossip Girl!

Gee, was Journal Vamp involved in the Revolutionary War? He knows all the facts about the battle. Way to be subtle there, grandpa.

These kids today and their drugs and their loud music.

The best friend really is psychic? That's interesting.

WHERE IS IAN SOMERHOLDER? NAO PLZ.

Unsurprisingly, the books are better.

The jerk boyfriend reminds me of that guy from 6 Feet Under... the one who played Jesse in the first ep of Buffy. Can I be bothered to Google him? No, no I cannot.

Ow, I just hurt myself rolling my eyes. That whole "passionate" exchange. Oh, I get it. He goes all vampy when he's turned on, or is he just hungry?

SEXY FOG. Yeah, baby. Of course, we won't actually get to SEE the sexy -- they want us to think that our boy is the bad guy.

Wow, this sucks. Not quite Moonlight sucks, but pretty bad.

Ooh, I want to see Jennifer's Body! It looks cheesy fun bad, and Megan Fox is hot. And hey, it's Beaver!

Hey, Whip It looks cute. And Drew Barrymore directed it. I love her.

Oh, Casey, you're so boring. And Journal Vamp, you're so wangsty.

I just realized exactly how much fricking Stephenie Meyer ripped off from this series. These books are SO much better than this show, and like, A MILLION BILLION MILES better than the Twilight books. The world is just not fair.

FINALLY. HAI BB. I really had to wait 41 minutes for that?

OH WOW, the new Disney A Christmas Carol looks AWESOME.

Thank you, Journal Boy, for being the voice of the audience on the fog and the RAVEN NOT CROW YOU MORONS.

Oh, Ian, I'm sorry, but even you're not hot enough to save this mess.

"I have this feeling this is just the beginning." Oy.

I'd like to take back my praise of the vampire effect.

They even write the same things in their diaries.

Gee, I hope Evil Ian eats the tall annoying girl.

Wow. That... sucked. No, no. It more than sucked, it was absolutely fucking AGONIZING.





YAY! REAL TV!

Dean, that's what I just said! Only WTF instead of WTH?

Sorry, guys, no blow by blow on the first viewing. I want to watch this.

WHAT? WHAT? No, Castiel is NOT DEAD. That's just not acceptable. No. But then, Anna got her body back, so CASTIEL BETTER GET HIS.

ASSHAT! LOL!

You know, this show is so fucking awesome, it only illustrates how completely NOT awesome VD is.

BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT CHICK IS WRITING WINCEST SLASH! SLAMLICKER #1!!!! BWAHSHAHAHAHAAHA!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAAH! THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER! "And you're so firm." BWAHAHAHAHAAHA!

"Becky, can you quit touching me?" "No."

OMG HOLY SHIT, did Bobby just disown Sam? Is this a plan? WTF is going on? I'm so confused.

I didn't see THAT coming, but ultimately it makes... um... sort of sense? But... Bobby can't be dead! Sam has to save him with the power of the fist!

Where do I know the actress who plays Nu!Meg from?

WOW. Heavy shite, man. I feel really sorry for poor Satan's meatsuit.

YAY CASTIEL! *dances*

SQUEEEE! Wait... is Castiel Not Not Dead?

Dudes... an SPN geek totally had a part in saving the day. And Dean totally just broke up with Sam.

It's gonna be an awesome season, ya'll.